“No Problem!” [ Not! ]

“No problem,” you say? Well, at the risk of being curmudgeonly, I’m sorry but it is a problem. A considerable one.

In light of 20 percent tipping issues in the restaurant industry, no matter what restaurant I am in, I’ve lost patience with waitstaff’s chirpy response “No problem!” in transactions, whether it is when the bill is dropped or I’ve asked for a refill of water (for which, by the way, I should not have to ask).

The meagre, meaningless phrase is pervasive–and insidious–in the retail industry and restaurants. No, wait: it is in fact heard throughout society at just about every turn; it indeed represents a laxity and inaudible lower-than-middle-brow communication filler, like an “umm” or an “aaaah” (but at least those are more legitimate “thinking pauses”).

Unfortunately, the off-hand, perfunctory–and usually nearly monosyllabic–blurt “No Problem,” as far as I understand it, often replaces “You’re welcome!” and comes from all ages and demographics.

And it shouldn’t.

It is particularly disappointing and careless in the restaurant setting, where we eat and commune and engage in meaningful conversation and social interaction. It is, simply, inelegant and unprofessional for what it precludes in the course of the restaurant transaction: an opportunity to show the customer he or she is welcome and appreciated (note to customers: show your waitstaff the same respect).

The simple facts are these: I’ve just spent good money at a restaurant—whether that’s a $20 lunch or a $100 dinner—and I think a pleasant and energetic “Thank you” of appreciation is in order, rather than an off-hand indication that I just happen not to be an inconvenience to the business; that I am not a problem.

Some people, granted, have difficulty saying “You’re welcome.” Tough luck: get over it and paint on a professional demeanour for your customers. Say “No problem” to your kids or partner.

“No problem” is a sloppiness in our speech and more importantly it is a laziness in our customer service. And it IS a problem that needs to be corrected. And you know what? With good service and sparkling but not-over-the-top social skills in a restaurant setting, I will certainly tip 20 percent.

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(Question mark image courtesy Leo Reynolds via Wikimedia Commons.)